After putting the kids to bed, I came downstairs. I didn't see Cody or the dog anywhere, and I suddenly felt very alone and unprotected. Just then, I heard this strange buzzing sound coming from the backyard. Slowly, cautiously, I turned the knob to the backdoor afraid of what lurked out there. The buzzing sound grew louder. As I opened the door, all of the blood in my body froze and I screamed as I witnessed one of the most terrifying sights I have ever seen! There was a hair-covered sasquatch carrying a scary, bladed weapon that he had just used to scalp and butcher this mangey beast! There was skin and hair and disgustingness everywhere.
Once the blood had time to get back to my brain, I realized what I was actually looking at, and it was much worse than I originally thought. Cody had tried to give the dog a haircut! (cue the dramatic doom music and frightened shrieks of terror.) That mangey beast was our beloved family pet, only now there were bald spots and uneven hair lengths all over him...(pause for wiping of tears) and even (sob) a missing eyebrow! Just then Bailey disappeared into a puff of shaven hair. I searched high and low and finally found him...hiding, humiliated, under the hanging clothes in the closet. Poor baby.
Here are the crime scene photos:
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